Our Plan Interrupted

On December 10th (exactly one month ago today and two weeks exactly before Christmas Eve), we were unexpectedly called into our doctor.

On that Monday, my doctor's office called me with the results of my 16 week blood work screen and they were concerned with some of the numbers, so they asked if I could come in right away. I was already in the car about to leave our neighborhood so I said, "yes, I could come right now."

Brent was able to meet me and the kids at the doctor and we waited for our turn. They were concerned about the baby having spina bifida, so an ultrasound was done. The technician got a great look at the spine and as far as she could tell all look great. So she continued the scan looking at the heart, legs, everything. She was very positive through the whole thing and talked to us the entire time.

But then she got to the eyes and I asked what it was she was looking at and she was quiet and then left. I wasn't sure if we were done. It didn't seem all that strange at the time but looking back it was very abrupt.

We were then moved to another room for the doctor to go over everything with us. When she first starting talking to us, I thought she was kidding. Unfortunately, that was not the case.

She basically told us that our baby did not develop a brain {anencephaly} and is not compatible with life. Our baby is alive. We saw the baby's heart beat and the tech said the rate was perfect. When we asked what did she mean and what does this mean, she said that now she recommends sending me downtown to abort. That this baby will not live.

What we know is that it is not up to us to decide when this baby's life will end. We do not plan to follow her recommendation but to carry this baby as long as The Lord choses for me to. We also know that we wanted a second look at our baby, which happened on Saturday, December 15th {17 weeks}, at The Source for Women {pregnancy medical clinic/crisis pregnancy}. And that our God is the great healer and he is able to heal our baby IF He so chooses. We also know that may not be His decision either.

When we first received our news, my first thought was we are not aborting this baby and the second thought was Cynthia at The Source. I cannot put into words how thankful I am to have known about their ministry. I knew I wanted a second look at our baby and more information, especially after getting such a recommendation from our doctor. I did ask my doctor for another ultrasound but they did not recommend me doing that. They said the pictures they had showed everything. That was not good enough. I knew what I needed. Humans make mistakes.

So I emailed Cynthia at The Source. She said, "YES, we would LOVE to see you!" She happened to be there the morning of our appointment and we were able to fill her in on everything our doctor said to us. She then talked to their technician and explained that we weren't their "typical" client and why we were there. For information. She asked her to walk us through the entire scan, tell us what she was looking at and to reveal the gender as well {not typically done}.

They were a great help and source of information. It is not typical protocal for them to reveal sex of the baby, but our doctor did not reveal that to us or perform another ultrasound, so they did that for us and revealed we are having another little GIRL, Lyla Hope. And again her heart rate was perfect.

After our scan was complete, their on-call doctor was gracious enough to do a conference call with us. Twenty minutes of us just asking questions and him explaining to us about what all this means for our baby. And most importantly, we were covered in prayer throughout our visit. We are more then grateful for the knowledge The Source provided for us that day.

I am beyond thankful for being on Tallowood's missions committee at the time they wanted to start partnering with this type of ministry and for me to be assigned to find that ministry. I definitely did not know 3 years ago I would be one of the women they would serve. God knew.

Right now, we are enjoying each moment we have with our Lyla Hope. Our HOPE rests in the Lord and we know He has purpose, He cares for us, and most of all He loves us. He is our peace. He is our strength.

We know that this is not good, that it is sad and we are grieving, BUT our GOD is GOOD no matter the circumstance.

He will see us through this.

Updates to come...