Philippians 4:4-8
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Isaiah 41:10
Would you pray with me that I would have the boldness I need to express what I want to my doctor regarding labor and delivery?
Here's the deal. I clam up when speaking with any doctor. When I am asked if I have questions, I usually say no or can't come up with any (at the time). When I leave, they all come rushing to mind. Anyone else like that?
I know what we have seen and been told my several doctors and technicians. I know. But I also still know, that God is working and can change His mind about what He has in store for this baby and her life. So with that, I need to explain to my doctor that I want this pregnancy to be carried out like any other normal pregnancy. I do get that it's really not normal, but everything to this point, as far as carrying this pregnancy, has been, so I don't want the delivery process to be different either, if possible.
When we saw the Maternal Fetal Specialists, we were told that Lyla would probably not be monitored like other babies. The basic reason for that was if she became in distress, they wouldn't want to put me through a c-section to help her since they say she can't be saved. Basically, I become number one priority. In their mind, there would only be one patient to care for instead of two. That didn't sit well with me.
I want Lyla to be monitored like any baby would be. If she is in distress, I want them to help her.
Do I want a c section? No, not really. It's not my preference.
Would I do it if necessary for any of my children who were experiencing distress? Yes!
At my last doctor's appointment, my doctor asked if I had any questions. Of course, I really didn't. I have done this before. But then, I came up with one. Would I have another ultrasound before birth to find out if she is breech? She said no. It wasn't necessary. She said I could deliver that way (breech). What?! I followed up slightly. I asked her what she meant and that I had NEVER heard of that before. She basically said in this situation it didn't matter. Again, what?! I just sat there thinking about that. Then left.
Okay, it does matter to me. So again, that didn't sit well. All that has been going through my head since I left that day has been, "What if she's healed?"
I want all the doctors and nurses to make medical decisions for the delivery as if Lyla were a perfectly healthy baby.
I need to be like the Canaanite woman in Matthew 15 who was persistent and bold and didn't give up on her daughter.
Will you pray that for me? My appointment is tomorrow morning, Tuesday at 10:30am. That I would have the boldness and courage to speak freely with my doctor about my delivery.
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Here is a little something I took away from last week's Bible Study:
If you are looking for the verse in the bible where we are promised an easy road/path/life, then you'll looking for a long time. It's not there. We were never promised easy or painless, but we were promised Jesus would walk with us. He goes before us and stands behind us.
And a few of my recent favorite songs. I love music. Could you tell?
The Hurt and The Healer {Mercy Me}
Breathe
Sometimes I feel it's all that I can do
Pain so deep that I can hardly move
Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You
Lord take hold and pull me through
One Thing Remains {Jesus Culture}
Higher than the mountains that I face
Stronger than the power of the grave
Constant through the trial and the change
One thing remains
One thing remains
Your love never fails it never gives up it never runs out on me x3
On and on and on and on it goes
It overwhelms and satisfies my soul
And I never ever have to be afraid
One thing remains
In death and in life I'm confident and covered by the power of your great love
My debt is paid there's nothing that can separate my heart from your great love
Whom Shall I Fear {Chris Tomlin}
I know Who goes before me
I know Who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side
The One who reigns forever
He is a Friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side
6 comments:
Praying for boldness and strength <3.
-Holly Marks
There is a lot of space inside the idea of 'normal'. There are many things about this pregnancy that are 'normal', but many things are not. You can speak for Lyla, and yourself, and you should. And we can pray that you will be heard and respected. The focus for you is doing everything in your power to provide for Lyla, and you are doing that beautifully. God is and will continue to be in all of this regardless of how 'professionals' respond. By all means, speak up.
Press on, Princess Warrior.
Praying for you!
I am praying for boldness. I know God will be with you, but don't hesitate to ask for help. We are also here for anything you might need.
You and Lyla are hand in hand with someone who has strength & power science cannot explain. I'm praying for your appointment tomorrow and I'll be thinking of you. Don't be shy, get sassy if you have to! -Michelle Geld
You write your feelings so well, why don't you print this blog and take it to your doctor in the morning. We always have a written list of questions so we won't forget when the doctor tries to dismiss us with his busy schedule. Don't let her get away without hearing your heart. Lyla deserves a voice. Praying for your bold words to fall on receptive ears.
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